NoFap is not a habit it is a lack of one!
PMO is a habit, and the only way to get rid of a habit is to replace it with something else.
We do it all the time! Instead of dealing with stress, anxiety, boredom you replace it with habits that let you cope, drinking, smoking, fapping. The only way to get rid of those habits is to replace it with something else better till your brain rewires (read – Power of Habit).
I have accomplished many things in the last 90 days, but there is something that needs to be said. NoFap will not give you superpowers, it will not make you a better person, or anything like that. But the intention of wanting to better yourself and following through is what changes the person you are know to who you want to be.
While NoFap is co-related to many great things that happen, I do not believe it is causal. I would argue that NoFap has very little tangible inherent benefit, but a lot of derived benefit.
An analogy from Freakanomics (also read) – Expecting mothers who buy books on how to raise and nurture a child tend to be better parents than those who don’t. Not because of the content of the books but because they intended to be good parents by the mere act of purchasing one.
Once you decide to do NoFap, you tell yourself you are worth caring for. You clean up other aspects of your life, you lose weight, study more, become social, dress better, improve personal hygiene, become loving, caring, and compassionate to yourself and others.
It is a step, and step after step you lead yourself to be a better you. Often we get motivated we try to jump, try to develop too many habits at once.
“I’m going to go to the gym, read a book a week, start a business, make friends, and develop game all in the next month”
I’ve too fallen into the same trap, and from experience I can tell you do one thing at a time. You may think you can take on the world, and maybe you can for a day or a week, but you will crash and burn eventually.
Instead take it slow, step by step, build up to a jog then a run. Add good habits once you have solidified one, then add another.
Why you shouldn’t expect results from NoFap…
At the start, I was wondering where my superpowers were, why was I not releasing pheromones that would make me a babe magnet, why I didn’t have all the typical superpowers?
It hit me, if I was thinking this way about an act of self-improvement, a reward and not the journey then that is why I would fail.
We can find excuses anywhere, we all know people who PMO and are still great with women, very social, respected. Don’t do NoFap for superpowers for women or otherwise because the contrary evidence will lead you astray.
Though personally not a fan of the small fraction of over-misogynistic PUAs.
The PUA community has a word for self-improvement inner gamethe book Models really shows how attracting the opposite sex, is about taking care of yourself first.
If you wouldn’t want to be with you, why would anyone else?If you don’t like what you see in the mirror, make an effort to change it, first and foremost for yourself, then everything will fall into place
What I’ve been able to do in the last 90 days+
Keep in mind the list below could have been done just as well without NoFap, but as mentioned early the fact that I started something like NoFap made a snowball into an unstoppable avalanche.
• Maintained ~3.8-3.9 GPA this semester, with no course below 3.7
• Enrolled in two competitive honours degree programs, taking 1.5 times the average course load
• Did consultancy work for drone company (non-military)
• Started a business which failed! (Learned many lessons)
• About to start another, learning for my past mistakes.
• Networked with big and small names in the industries I’d like to partake in, entrepreneurially or otherwise
• Paid my dad back for the down payment on my house which he gave me 2 years prior
• Reduced my monthly expenditure, mostly from cooking and reduced drinking and partying
• Projected expenses, expected incomes, buffers, investments etc. till retirement. For those interested in living within their means, and retiring early to follow other passions (read – Mr. Money Mustache Blog)
• Lost over 60 lbs in the past 6 months, now normal weight range.
• Skin is no longer oily, diagnosed psoriasis has disappeared – Due to improved hygiene overall
• Improved EQ
• Hair is soft and shiny (coconut oil + discontinuing shampoo)
• Joined Latin Dance (hit with my female friends)
• Made new friends, solidified old ones
• Sense of Style in on point (r/malefashionadvice), friends are now asking me for fashion advice
• Get adequate rest, sleep at normal hours, wake up early.
• Feel emotions, that aren’t dulled. I feel for connected with things around me especially nature.
And much, much more I am sure!
Feel free to AMAA.
On Happiness – General Advice
There is a tendency for most people in the modern world to accomplish one goal, and jump to the next. You think about once I have done till one thing, I’ll be happy then the next comes along.
Once I finish college, I’ll be happy… Once I get a job, I’ll be happy… Once I make enough money to do x,y,z I’ll be happy
Take a moment, instead of looking at the next hurdle to jump across. Look Back look at all the hurdles you’ve already jumped across to be where you currently are. Change your frame of reference for even a moment.
We live in the most materialistic era of human history… we think money can buy us happiness.
Whenever I want something and don’t have it, or life is getting me down I will do the following.
I close my eyes…
I imagine living a life blind… (living with an ailment which would be of great disadvantage)
Its hard in the beginning, but I think of ways I could live a fulfilling happy life filled with everything I associate with happiness..
I overcame the burden, the disadvantage…
I open my eyes and I realize not only do I have sight, but an alternate version of me was content with life without it…
I think about all the aspects of my life, that I am thankful for, that I have taken for granted.
Then in that moment, I am content.
The message of the main post is to show, NoFap alone won’t magically bring changes to your life. You have to make it happen!
Those changes arguably could have been made without NoFap, but NoFap most definitely helps the mechanism in which it does is the point of debate.