Fellow Fapstronauts: boys, girls, men, women and everyone in between, this is my humble 90 day report. Before I delve in, a few of my specs are: 19 year old (as of 3 days), been using porn and masturbating since the age of 13, used porn typically once per day, decided to undertake NoFap earlier this year in March.
I am unsure where I should begin my account of my journey up to this point, but be aware that what I portray in this report is not nearly an accurate representation of the magnitude of the impact NoFap has had on my life in these last 90 days. I am currently writing this while driving to the Canadian rockies to do some skiing.
I am going to break down this report into the benefits, changes and positive influences NoFap has had (the ones I can easily recall to mind and are most blatantly obvious):
1. I view women differently. Prior to NoFap, porn warped my outlook on life, but most heavily on my interactions with women. As I progressed deeper into my streak, I found myself viewing women as humans, with feelings, emotions and wants. I stopped praising them, thinking they were God’s, and a far-fetched fantasy. Nowadays, I don’t walk around with my tongue hanging out, and the first thought that surfaces into my mind is not sex (if it is I mentally correct myself) and all sorts of disgusting fantasies- it’s their clothes, their hair, their eyes. I like it a lot more this way. It’s way easier to strike up a conversation and be a silly 19 year old guy. For some reason or another, guys have the idea that you need to possess a certain level of charisma in order to land and talk to girls effectively. Truth be told- just be yourself. Don’t put pressure on yourself, there are billions are women that walk this earth, and they don’t care if you stumble or stutter when talking to them- so neither should you! One thing I can assure is this: when you stop watching porn, it gets easier, way easier to converse with girls. I have befriended a whole bunch of girls (guys was never a big problem), and if a relationship blossoms in the future, then so be it. If a relationship doesn’t blossom, ditto- so be it! I am focusing on myself, going to school, getting in shape. LIVING LIFE. Girls will come and go.
2. Eye contact and overall assertiveness. I don’t want to say that I was a meek, nervous little boy in a man’s body before NoFap, but I was pretty damn close. After completing 90 days, I can easily make eye contact (I actually want to look smack middle into the eyes of the person I am talking to). My voice has dropped a few pitches, it is more confident, and I can get my ideas across a ton more effectively and efficiently. This has enabled me to express my thoughts and opinions without hesitation. Guys this is not a placebo, nor a delusion. I also don’t take any bullshit. I am a straightforward type of person, and if something isn’t right, I’ll make it known. Would I have even considered anything even remotely close to this before NoFap? Not in a million years. I guess people automatically respect me when I am standing in front of them- I subconsciously demand it.
3. This sort of ties back into number 1– I went on a legitimate date for the first time ever. Ask any youth in today’s hook-up culture that “old-fashioned” dates are a long lost knack. But for whatever reason, upon completing 90 days, I didn’t want to go to a party and land myself a one-night stand like I have done so many times in the past. Instead, I got in my car, picked up a girl and took her to a Christmas light show. I made her laugh, we talked, got a smoothie at a local shoppe and spent some genuine one on one time together. Is my relationship with this girl going to manifest into something greater? Who knows. What I do know is that I would have never done that had I been pleasuring my genitals, hunched over in front of my computer screen like a worthless 19 year old kid.
4. Overall physical health and shape. I am going to gym 4-5 times per week, running 10-20km on my off-days, and currently have the lowest BMI ever in my life. Do I attribute this success to NoFap? Certainly. I have an edge, am brimming with testosterone, and have a need to let off steam somewhere. I could care less what people think of me- I am living my life, bettering myself every single day, and am striving for excellence. Everything else will fall into place.
5. I have a fire burning inside my chest. I am more focused, determined, and motivated than ever. I have a level of grit that helps me in the gym, writing tests, studying or any other daily endeavour in my life. I don’t know why exactly I am feeling this burning desire- but I love it. I wish I could show you guys somehow, but it’s basically impossible.
I suppose this is the “big 5” that has been the most notable throughout my 90 days. Now to the million dollar question: Am I rebooted? In my honest opinion- No. I have been using porn and masturbating for far too long, and 90 days is a great start in the right direction, but not nearly enough to fully reverse the cognitive damage I have inflicted upon myself. I am just beginning to see the light. I don’t know what I could possibly write on this report to help you kick this problem and addiction; it took me a couple 50 day streaks before I broke through the threshold. Don’t beat yourself up if you relapse, learn and move on. Never lose hope. This is the most worthwhile endeavour I have ever done in my opinion. If you are on the fence deciding whether or not you want to stop using porn and masturbating, just think: we are talking about your life here. The actions and decisions you make today will affect you tomorrow. If you are telling yourself you’re going to start tomorrow, or the next day, you are wasting time. I hate this acronym, but I will use it in this instance: YOLO. You only have one blasted life, and if you wish to waste oodles of time looking at fake girls pretending to moan while you fantasize your life away, go right ahead. Nobody, and I mean nobody, will stop you. The porn industry will laugh through their teeth. Have some self-respect for yourself and get off your ass, get pissed off, raise your fist and cause a disturbance. Power exists in numbers, and even though the porn industry is debatably one of the strongest and scariest industries that exists, if you stop, and I stop, and thousands of others start quitting porn and taking their lives back, we will make a difference.
Finally, after completing 90 days I have come to realize just how much time I waste on the computer and technology in general. I am aware some people replace their porn addictions with NoFap, as have I in a way, however I am going to limit myself to a half hour each day looking at a screen. Instead, I will read my textbooks for class, read inspirational and education novels (currently How To Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie) or anything else besides stare a computer; because at the end of the day, as much as you can gain knowledge and become educated about porn addictions and masturbation while visiting this site, it’s wanton. However I will always remember where my life took a turn for the better- right here.
Guys I truly wish you the best, and if you ever want to talk, please PM me. Take my word for it: if I can do it, you can certainly as well. No great human ever came about without struggle. Life is tough, but so are you. I hope to be able to make a 180 day report some day.
Source: 90 Day- My Take