IMPORTANT THINGS TO HAVE IN MIND
#1. Don’t focus on a fucking number.
Let’s get it clear. Is day 89 terrible and 90 so perfect? I don’t think so. Number is a number, nothing else. It could motivate you, but what matters in this process is not only to finish with your addiction, but start living your life.
The PMO addiction is because of not wanting to accept the reality. PMO is like getting into a comfortable cage, every day, more and more and more. It seems nice and good, but at the end, the same cage may be bad for you. Get out and BE responsible for your life.
What I mean, is being at day 50 working for your life might be better than day 89 searching on Reddit all the day.
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS START WORKING FOR YOUR LIFE.
#2. Give up complaints and excuses.
“If you don’t life something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude”. Stop complaining. Let’s get some examples (and maybe you can apply them): • “I want to eat healthy, but I don’t like fruit/vegetables.” So, make it easier for yourself. Get a blender, and drink it. Try new foods, and find new recipes. Get help by some doctor / chef / nutritionist / friend / someone.
- “Anyone invites me to parties and that sucks.” Stop complaining, they won’t invite you for complaining. Don’t be hard at you. Just talk to your friends and find out what happens. You don’t have so many friends or you think that is not OK? Meet anyone who can join with. If not, join a fucking group. And if you don’t want that, at least, dress and get out of your home. Do it as a rule.
- “My body hurts all day. I’m sooo tired”. Go to doctor. Talk to someone that might help you. If you think that is just being tired, saying that you are tired will only make it worse.
- “I try to do it, but it’s so difficult”. Get help: friends, family, accountability group, anyone that might help you. Seek information. Change the way you see the problem. Start working.
- “I am so overwhelmed, I have lots of things to change.” Look at next step.
Book recommendation for this topic: “A Complain Free World” – Will Bowen
A lot of people claim that they don’t have time to change their habits. But, let’s analyze it.
- Cold showers. Change hot for a cold shower, it’s easy, because you should get a shower…
- Eating well. You have to eat, right? So choose the good options. It’s not difficult to choose fruit. It may save you money (processed food could be more expensive). Maybe preparing some healthy meals may take you 5 more minutes (is not worth, rather than watching how to be healthy on YouTube?)
- Reading. Reading is powerful. Just change looking at your phone when you are in the train/bus/waiting, and read. One page is better than zero pages.
- Journaling. I have been doing this and men, it leaves you so good at the end. Just write how you feel, but TRULY, but don’t complain constantly. Try to write about the good things (even how the breakfast was!) and what your aims are. Do it 5 minutes before bed, it will help you more than looking at google “how not to be stressed”.
Now, changing habits. Please follow those instructions: 1. Do one habit at a time and try to master it. Write when, how and why you will do it. Maybe you can change it for another thing (as we have said before).
Start small and increase when you feel capable. Too much will leave you frustrated. I started running 5 minutes on February and increased, increased, increased gradually and… I ran a 10km race on June with less than one hour. But you can apply it to everything.
Little actions do matter (look at the book recommendation). Book recommendation: The Slight Edge – Jeff Olson
#4 – Don’t be bored.
When I was younger, my family made jokes about the fact that I was all day saying: “I am bored”, “I don’t know what to do” and things like that. And sometimes I am bored. But HOW CAN WE BE BORED?!?
There are a lot of things to do and billions of people that we can interact. 1. If you are bored, you have a lot of chances to relapse. A LOT
Please do some of the following activities (better to choose activities outdoor or the ones that invite other people”. And no, don’t tell me that you can’t do those things. Don’t complain, remember, don’t complain. If you don’t want to do those activities, take a cold shower, and change your point of view.
- Learn to cook
- Draw for 10 minutes/day
- Start a blog
- Practice public speaking
- Learn a language
- Basic programming
- Basic graphic design
- Take dance lessons
Talk to EVERYONE. The cashier, the girl on the subway, the bank teller. You aren’t good enough at engaging people until you’re on the phone with your bank to cancel your credit card and end up talking about travel plans in Russia. (My friend is this good. He started by opening conversation with EVERYONE.)
#5 – Dopamine.
Bla, bla, bla, all the information said in this Reddit of Dopamine, bla, bla, bla. I don’t want to talk another time about this topic because I don’t know much about it. If you don’t know much about that, just look at that link (Superpowers Are Real Here Is How To Get Them).
Dopamine and Internet. Be honest. So honest. Don’t just block porn and PMO related. I don’t want to spent 3 hours on Reddit and justify it saying it is “self-improvement”. I don’t want to be so many time on I don’t want to be so many time on YouTube/Facebook/Self-improvement blogs and others. + BUT COMMON 5 MORE MINUTES? – When was the last time you really did 5 minutes? Just block it. Use Cold Turkey (better for me) or K9. Delete accounts if necessary. I will give more concrete plans at the end.
Don’t f****** go to another link. Going on too self-improvement and no working is PROCRASTINATION.
#6 – Plan. And do it. Trace a plan on Google Calendar. You don’t have a serious email? C’mon get it now.
So trace a plan on Google Calendar and full it with activities (yellow), homework (blue), work (green) and hobbies (red). The colors and categories doesn’t matter. Make it visual and organize it.
“But hey, I plan everything perfectly but then, I don’t feel to do it”. I have been there. WE ALL HAVE BEEN. So, this is starting, and starting is 50% of the task, right? It’s the most difficult part. Do this when you feel in this way:
- Turn off electronic devices.
- Cold shower.
- Get dressed.
- Do something outdoors
“But that doesn’t help my science project”. I know, but you have to visualize yourself actually doing something that you have proposed to do. DO. DO. DO.
#7 – Life is a gift. Enjoy life.
Man you can (and I recommend it) improve your life sometimes. But, if you do lots of things, maybe you will feel pressured, overwhelmed and other feelings like these.
Take life easy. Relax. Enjoy.
“Yeah bro, but I gotta exercise and meditate and read, and I don’t have time for…”
I told you that you can do changing habits and implement new ones. I though like these, and what happens? I got stressed and I did nothing . A better strategy? Do things step by step, having in mind that anything will change the first day. Find some important things to do, and do them. But, hey, when it’s time to relax, fully relax, relaaaaaax. But when it’s time to work, you must work.But allow you to enjoy life. Some people work better at constant pressure. Well, try it, and if it doesn’t work for you, try this strategy.
#8 – Visualize yourself.
Now, I am writing this. A week ago I was bored —-> Relapse —-> I feel depressed —>What can I do? —> Does my life has sense? ——> Work for a little and get bored and start again.
I say visualize but try other ways to do what I want you to do. You can. No matter what. No matter how you are struggling. You can decide NOW your actions. And you can decide NOW your mood. You can change life and enjoy that gift. You create your reality.
#9. Starting today.
I want you to do this today (I only let do this tomorrow if today it’s too late). As I have said, starting is the most important thing. So today, I assure you that you will do that. Promise me that! (Mark that when accomplished).
- Eat a piece of fruit.
- Call at least 3 people to meet (family, friends)
- Get out of your home and do something.
- Get a cold shower
- Install an Internet blocker on the pages you have spent more than 3 hours this week.
If you do that, you will have start! SO IMPORTANT: IF YOU FAIL, DON’T COMPLAIN LIKE “I HAVE LOST IT ALL. I AM A PIECE OF SHIT.” SHUT UP MEN. SHUT UP. AND START WORKING. IT’S HARD BUT LIFE HAS SENSE AND YOU WILL WORK HARD. DON’T YOU THINK THE BEST PEOPLE FAIL? FAILING IS PART OF THE PROCESS!
#10 – Habits Now I am going to tell you what to do in different areas. At least what I found is logical. I encourage you to do those things and research more about it, but do it one change and step at a time. Do it gradually. (You can add suggestions in the comments)
- Food. Eat fresh food and avoid processed.
- Sport. Do any type of sport that appeals to you. Even 5 minutes of walking every day.
- Reading. Start finding out good books and read them. Look at my recommendations.
- Self-love. Read the 60-page book “Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It”.
- Meditation or relaxation. For Android there is a good App called “Calm”.
- Write your success. On paper or on a blog. Every day.
- Don’t waste your money. Learn to use it properly.
- Clean your room. Search “happy music” on YouTube and do it.
- Studies. If you want to study but you don’t know what. GO TO THE LIBRARY. Find any book that interest you.
- Work hard, be nice and learn.
- Live a simple life. theminimalists.com, zenhabits.net and becomingminimalist.com nice blogs.