NoFap, because one night during the Christmas holidays I wanted to read some scary stories, got halfway to googling NoSleep subreddit (highly recommend it, by the way), saw the suggested search and thought “what’s that?”
Hardmode, because in the hours, days and weeks that followed I slowly realised the extent of my porn addiction and the effect that it was having on my life.
I had heard that people could be addicted to sex, addicted to wanking, addicted to porn. But I didn’t think I was one of those guys. How could I be? Those dudes are pasty skinny nerds with no ambition and wasn’t me. After a week of NoFap, when the urges started to hit me like a wave of concrete and sometimes I felt like my hands were metal and my nob was a magnet, and the thoughts swirling in my head were dirtier than some the girls I used to watch.
It was time for some honesty with myself. Long story short, I realized that I am addicted and decided to cut that shit out.
So I did.
And HOLY HELL the posts on here were not lying about the superpowers.
My clarity of thought has improved tenfold. All that excess energy that was being spunked away is surging through me 24/7. I’m like the fucking Duracell bunny. I started working out daily and increased my membership of the local Martial Arts gym from 3 hours a week to ten. I started signing up for kickboxing competitions (and won my debut competitive fight last month).
Just recently I thought: why on earth stop with NoFap? So I cut out fast food. I cut out my big Subway lunches and replaced them with fruit. I cut out my 3 litres of Pepsi a week and replaced it with a huge amount of water.
Some other observations:
- I don’t know if it’s pheromones, confidence, whatever, in that period between 1 and 2 months of NoFap virtually every girl I made eye contact with was giving me the eye. Jesus.
- Hardmode is the way to go IMO. I’m proud of my own willpower but just KNOW if i’d been hit with that chaser effect you get from sex, I’d have relapsed. 100%
- Weird one: my body hair started growing REALLY quickly?! More testosterone maybe?
- Real emotions.
- Every time my parents would leave the house my brain was like “right, porn time!” and I had to shut it down and go for a run. Sneaky subconscious.
- The flatline is kind of scary. Even tried wiggling it around a bit but, nope, lifeless. Might as well have had a gherkin hanging down there for a week.
Finally… happy birthday to me! I’m 22 today and a hundred days porn-free.
I’ll leave you with a warning, though, for those who are as far and even further than me: this won’t go away. You are always a recovering porn addict, I think. Last night I almost relapsed. I had a well known porn site typed in the search bar. I told myself “tomorrow night, for a birthday treat”. Same happened again tonight, and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done to close that tab, open this one and start writing this post.
Thank you, NoFap. Thanks to all of you and good luck on your journeys.