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Gather Round The Fire Fapstronauts And Listen To A Tale

I was sitting on the same chair you are sitting on now, dick held firmly in the cusp of my hand after another jacking off sesh to yet another interracial gang bang. I tried using my left hand at the start so it felt like someone else was doing it but it didn’t work so I re-employed the vet with 15 years of daily experience, Mr. Right Hand. The feeling quickly overtook me. A slight bit of euphoria followed by shame, disgust & guilt. Surely this isn’t what the fuck I’m supposed to be doing with my life. Time for some introspection boys.

May 3rd, I remember the day so clearly, its weird. I decided to go for a walk around the farmland weirdly close to my urban neighborhood. Okay lets have a look at things. You are depressed. You are lonely. You don’t even talk to one single girl because you are socially anxious. Heck man, the fucking brain fog means you cant even think about what you’re thinking. Lol you are a worthless piece of shit. You have been feeling like this for the last 1.5 years and you will continue to feel it for the rest of your life you sad kunt.

Fapstronauts I shit you not that is how I felt 20 days ago. The level of self-crippling introspection I had about myself astonished me. Suicidal thoughts sorta consumed about half my daily through juice with the other half being used up for anxiety. I was never relaxed. What the fuck even was relaxation. Anxiety was all I had in my blood. My amazing ability to self-hate was only second to my ability to be a lazy, tired, boring, unmotivated, non-energetic slob. I hated myself to the same magnitude that Voldermort hated Harry Potter. You read Harry Potter that in Voldermort’s hissy voice. Or was it just me. We will never know.

Upon this introspective walk through the farm, I remembered a friend of mine (name unnecessary) who mentioned to me that he had not fapped in 80 days. I remembered that when he told me, I laughed and remembered the Mia Malkova gymnast video I watched the other night followed by a Hmm maybe I should watch that one again, that one was cool. But now that I am here by myself, I felt different. I wanted porn so bad but there was something like one little atom somewhere in my heart that was screaming fuck man just stop wanking. I looked at him and smirked, dumbass. Fapping is masculine I said to him. All men fap. Porn is cool. Girls are toys for my dick and nothing else. What the hell is wrong with you atom. LAMEEEEEEEEEEEE

The thought left my head due to my expert illogical porn-induced-euphoria driven rationalizing talent and off I ran to my computer and sat there wanking my days away again like a heroin addict. I was glued to it. I found no joy in talking to friends, family. Hell, we got new kittens and I didnt even want to play with them. I DIDN’T WANT TO PLAY WITH FUCKING 8 WEEK OLD KITTENS AND I THOUGHT THAT WAS NORMAL 

Coincidentally, on the 3rd of June, exactly a month after my first contact with the NoFap voice deep within me, I went walking on that same path (literally, not figuratively). I passed this one point and had a DeJaVu-esque feeling and the NoFap atom in my heart made a return but this time it was bigger than before. It’s like initially it was just a little atom but now it had transformed into Arnold Schwarzenegger from Terminator 1 and just strode through a bomb explosion and in a deep heavily-accented voice said to me “I’m Back”

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM all these thoughts are coming into my head. NoFap is the fucking key. Go research it. Stop being chained to your computer. BANG BANG BANG BANG. I run back home and research the hell out of it for literally 4 hours 37 minutes. (Don’t ask how or why I counted. I like counting research time for some reason. Its a hobby I developed to help me stay focused during study). I emerge after this research with a fucking halo around my head (figuratively this time) feeling like a saint. This is it I said. This is the key. I knew from that moment that I had to quit PMselfO. Obviously if someone else makes me O, I aint gonna say no. But lets face it, you have had a 2 year dry spell, the junk is drier than California right now. Its gonna be hardmode whether you want it or not.

The first two weeks were the hardest. The urges were so hard to resist it was unreal. I would sit near my computer table moving around like a contortionist having a seizure just trying to resist my want to give myself some loving but you know what lads, its been twenty days and I feel it. I can’t be bothered to list all the benefits, theres heaps of posts on here like Day 30: Report. Benefits and yes they are true for me. Every single one. Basically all the stuff I talked about in the first three paragraphs is now history. But I know better than to get ahead of myself. Its day 20 and I know what I am feeling is the tip of the iceberg. There’s plenty more to come and I am just excited for it.

Just one little success that I achieved today is what I wanted to share with you guys. I was at the doctors in the waiting room eating jelly beans. Normally, I would be a little gremlin and hold my jellybeans like Gollum saw the one ring. Never let anyone near my precioussssss. But today, I just sat there with an open chest eating them. There was a girl next to me and I thought I should offer her some. Old me was still in my head saying, you cant do that, she’ll hate you for it. You’ll get judged. I thought to myself fuck that and offered her a jelly bean. She didn’t like the black ones (I only have black ones, I know, I’m weird) but we got chatting and now I have her number.

Boys take it from me, if you live life within your comfort zones you are never really living and the last thing you want is to be lying on your death bed at the age of 80 regretting something. Today is the last day I acted like a bitch and the first day that I looked at my comfort zone and said fuck you. Fapping is a plague to society and its a pity its so widely accepted. Physical self-harm raises alarms but slow mental self-harm is going to be the black plague of our time. But we are the different ones. We are the rebellion. We are 182,767 strong at the time of this post. And you know what, the person that fapped 10 times today has the exact same level of importance as the person on a 10 year streak. Why? In Tai Lopez’s words, KNAWLIDGE. Each one of us knows that fapping is bad and we are expanding. We are the cure, the antidote to the plague. Tell your friends about NoFap. Tell your family. They’re smart, loyal and greatful, they’ll appericate this information. They might not know it now but their minds are in prisons like ours were at one point. The prison that is in 99% of the western world (no source sorry). Be the Ned Kelly that changes the world. BE THE CHANGE THAT YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.  

Fellow brothers, join me on the other side. Be free with me. 

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